Many survivors of partner abuse wonder how to respond to intimidation after they’ve left. Regardless of whether the ex-partner’s...

Safety issues and concerns about the best interests of children were barriers to healing mentioned in Healing and Creating a New Life ....

Healing and creating a new life after abuse are multi-faceted processes. Often, they feel overwhelming. You usually begin the work of...

Survivors of intimate partner abuse sometimes say they feel overwhelmed by politics. For that matter, many of us do. Overwhelm is a...

The time it takes to leave an abusive relationship is the time you need, so let go of any shame or embarrassment about it. Leaving is not...

Repeated abuse changes how you think about yourself and your abilities. Recovery work includes releasing destructive beliefs and the instilled fear produced by abuse.

Do not allow anxiety to interfere with gaining the support you need. The following gives guidance in how to tell someone about abuse. It also bolsters you in not taking personally anyone’s lack of support or disbelief if that occurs.   

Gaslight security begins with recognizing it. Merriam-Webster’s definition of gaslighting: “psychological manipulation of a person...

To regain your power in an abusive relationship, you must name what is happening and accept it. Accept what is. Despite how painful that is. Accepting does not mean you approve, agree, or are okay with it. It is also not forgetting or pretending the abuse didn’t occur.

Believing you deserve abuse is an injury from coercive control. Abuse damages your belief in your worthiness, leaving you vulnerable to those who want to dominate.

When you say you allowed abuse, you are blaming yourself for something over which you had no control. You probably learned to accept this from your partner's blame and hearing similar media assumptions. Often society makes victims responsible for their abuse, rather than the one who abuses.  

Seeing forgiveness as emotional self-care may sound strange. Especially if you experienced an abuser telling you to forgive when they...

Leaving or staying—there is no decision that fits everyone. Each person should consider their circumstances. Trust what you see regarding your partner’s behavior and follow your intuition. The following information helps clarify your situation.

Time Out and Broken Record are the last two conflict management skills. As with any assertive skill, assess your safety if someone has a history of being abusive.

This fourth blog in my assertive communication series shows why these skills are important and how to be constructive in their use.

Assertive Beliefs is the seventh blog in my empowerment series for victims of partner abuse. You must believe you have the right to be assertive before using skills: this article builds that foundation. It covers definitions, benefits, beliefs that may interfere, an assertiveness skills list, and steps to work on the belief that you have the right to stand up for yourself.

Repairing physical and emotional boundaries is the fifth in my empowerment series that began with How to Empower Yourself. This step begins with believing you have the right to set limits.

Noticing and adjusting your thoughts is an important mental health skill for everyone. Change negative thinking and you'll change your life.

Centering self-care de-stresses and connects you to your emotions and thoughts. This creates a resilient buffer from all stress, including abuse. By regaining your former self-care methods and perhaps adding new ones, you can reconnect with yourself and regain your power.  

Looking at the assumptions that underlie coercive control helps explain why your partner behaves abusively. Sometimes they admit these beliefs, but mostly it’s their behavior that shows you what they believe.